Day 222 / 31 Weeks, Day 6 OR Day 238 / 34 Weeks, Day 1

Staring down the finish line.

I don't have another appointment until next week.

Symptoms as of late:
-  Swollen ankles/feet
-  Super emotional - can cry at the drop of a hat
-  Slight panic/anticipation as labor and delivery (and reality) draws nearer
-  Sleep deprived - Unable to get a good night's rest due to physically being uncomfortable and/or crazy dreams
-  Feeling fat and unhappy with my appearance
-  Super irritable - getting frustrated easily
-  Sweating profusely :( due to hormones and the fact that it's 100 degrees now.  My deodorant is failing me terribly
-  Sluggish, unmotivated


I am trying to stay positive and count the blessings because it does feel like the pains are outweighing the good at this point.  So I'm trying to keep my mindset in a positive one.  It's difficult at times, but when I feel frustrated, I try and think of something or say something to myself that is positive.

I am growing a little human inside of me.  My son.  I feel him moving constantly.  The bond I am creating with him is immeasurable.  He is 100% protected by me for the time being.  All of the pains and the emotions are all worth it in the end.

The Countdown Begins - Week 31 or 33 - You Decide

Week 30 / Day 5
Day 214
66 more days to go
per BabyBump app

OR

Week 32 / Day 5
Day 230

So, had my doc apt yesterday.  Sono now shows little bebe is 16 days bigger in measurements. Estimated weight is 4 lbs 8 oz.

So according to my cycle due date, I am about to begin week 31 and according to my sono due date, I am about to begin week 33.

Everything looks good as of now.

Little monkey has turned breech again and I can definitely tell.  Atleast he is still moving around and he has plenty of time to turn back (hopefully!).  He goes from up to down frequently lately, so hopefully he will settle into the down position soon and stay there.  When he's breech like this, it's causing me sooooooo much pain.  I have been in tears most of the day with how much pressure his head is putting on my ribs and how my back feels when he is in this position.  As if it's not uncomfortable enough, but when he's in this position, I am in a lot of pain.  If I end up having a c-section, I am ok and coming to terms with it.  Although it's not ideal and I would prefer a vaginal birth, I know that it is out of my control and I have to be open to the possibility if he doesn't turn or if he does end up too big, a c-section may have to be the only option.

Literally it feels like my belly has grown outward several inches just overnight.  There is a major visible difference in my belly from yesterday to today.

I have two baby showers coming up - one on Friday and the next one the following Saturday.  My family is about to be out of town for a little over a week and I'm just praying that this little poot hangs on for atleast another month.  I have to get busy on my spring cleaning project this weekend and try and finish as much as I can because at this point, I think I need to start getting prepared.  My energy level is starting to drop and I can feel myself getting super sleepy and lethargic again.

Plus the sleepless nights are even more so.  It's soooooo hard to sleep and stay comfortable in one position now.

I've gained a total of 40 lbs as of yesterday.  Oy.  But again, I'm not stressing out about it much anymore.  I'm trying to maintain as well as I can and I'll deal with losing it all plus some after he makes his appearance Earthside.

These are photos from today.  I honestly dislike looking at myself in the mirror or in photos at the moment....but I just have to keep remembering I'm growing a little human inside of me and the miracle it truly is.

This first one, I have definitely had to scoot back from my work desk since yesterday and lean back even further while pulling my keyboard closer to me.  What a crazy feeling!

Braxton Hicks

Day 203 / 29 weeks, Day 1
77 more days to go
per BabyBump app

Oy vey.

I don't remember experiencing these when I was pregnant with my daughter.

I definitely experienced it last night.

They're definitely not so fun.

And if I forgot what contractions felt like 17 years ago, I was certainly reminded of them last night.

I might be rethinking this whole "trying not to get an epidural" decision.

LOL

Just please hang on little bebe for atleast another month here, my love.  You need to keep cookin' as long as you can!

Baby Gymnastics

I went in for my first biophysical sono screening yesterday and guess what?  This little monkey decided to turn breech on me.

He's been head down the entire pregnancy and yesterday, he was flipped head up.

Silly goose.

I knew something was different because the movements I was feeling since this weekend were different and not as pronounced.

And I think it may totally be my fault.  Oops.  I had my prenatal yoga class on Saturday and the instructor (who is also pregnant), mentioned that down dog was pretty much a no-no position after 32 weeks.  But hey, I'm not 32 weeks yet, so we figured I was good.  Well, I know that's when he flipped up because right after the class is when the movements I started feeling were different.

The sono guy said not to worry at all because he still has plenty of time to turn over, but I couldn't help but get a little concerned.

So I got home last night, did a couple of down dogs, did a little bit of laying down with my hips propped up on a pillow with my legs bent.  No change.

I started feeling some ready-set-go motions just a bit ago from little bebe and since then he spent about a good 20-30 minutes re-positioning himself and doing a round of gymnastic routines.  And I can tell he's back to head down now.  Everything is more pronounced again and I can tell he's back in position.  Whew.

Hopefully he stays that way.  Don't mess with me like that again, little monkey!

No more down-doggin' for this mama until after your arrival little one.

I Can't Wait To Meet You

If you only knew how much I love you and your aren't even Earthside yet.

So far this pregnancy has been a bit of a whirlwind to say the least.  The situation now is not ideal, but I'm embracing it and moving forward and taking it day by day.  And I'm not freaking out or worried that I won't be able to do this.  I know I can.  I feel the love I already have for my little unborn bebe and the fact that I will be a single mother does not scare me in the least.  It wasn't what I envisioned, but most of the time life doesn't end up as you envisioned anyway.  And it has taken this course for a very important reason.  There are no mistakes.  Only blessings.

The last time I was pregnant was 17/18 years ago with my daughter.  I was so young back then - 22.  There are certain things I remember, but a lot of it I have forgotten.  It's been a very long time.  And let's face it, my memory isn't the greatest.  My journey with my daughter has been the best ever.  I treasure everything we have shared and still share and will continue to share from today forward.  I look at her and am overflowing with pride.  Not because I feel that I am partly responsible for the freaking amazing woman she has grown into, but because she IS and has grown into a phenomenal woman.  As her own person.  And on her own accord. And I've been along for the ride to witness it.  And the fact that God chose me to be her mother, I will be eternally grateful.  I honestly never thought I wanted to be a mother when I was younger, but as I stated above, there are no mistakes.  And although getting pregnant with my daughter was definitely not a planned event, she was the absolute best blessing God has given me.

And up until 7 months ago, I wasn't sure if I would or wanted to be a mother to another child again.  I was beginning to think my time (or window if you will) had passed.

But I left it up to fate.  And today, I am in the middle of another great blessing.  A little baby boy growing inside of me.  I've felt such great love since I knew he was growing inside of me, but it's really starting to feel real.  I know his schedule now.  I know his movements. I know when he's going to react to what I eat or drink.  I talk to him a lot.  I tell him all the time how much he is already loved and how I will protect him with my life.  Just as I would for my 17 year old daughter.  I will do the same for him.

When my daughter was born, I was still together with her father for the first 8-9 months of her life, so I had a lot of support from him in helping with her daily when she was a baby.  He's been a phenomenal dad to her since.  And we have managed to co-parent exceptionally.

I am gearing up for this adventure to be a solo one.  It will be challenging to say the least, but I do have a lot of support with family and friends and I know things will turn out just as the way they were meant to be.  There will be a lot of sleepless nights, there will be bags under my eyes, there will be tempers flaring, there will be tears.  And there will be many many smiles and joyous laughter.  Because I know all of these things - I absolutely realize the challenges that raising a child solo will entail, I choose today to focus on the positive and the blessings and to be the absolute best mom I can be to my son.  Just as I have with my daughter.

My daughter and I took out a lot of her baby pictures the other night and reminisced.  It was so fun and such a fantastic trip down memory lane.  And the fact that I can do that with her is irreplaceable.  I look at the sonogram images of my son and imagine what it will feel like to see him for the first time with my own eyes.  What it will feel like to kiss his sweet cheeks and to see his tiny little fingers and toes and to hold him in my arms.  It seems like I was so impatient throughout this pregnancy - I have to admit, being pregnant is not something that I enjoy so much.  :/  I realize the necessity of it, but I am definitely not one of those women that adore being pregnant.  I know once he is born, there will be aspects that I may miss, but they will quickly pass.  The one thing that I do love about being pregnant is knowing my son is protected by me, his mother.  That no one outside of my body can harm him without coming through me first.  Just knowing that right now I am able to shield him from any emotional or physical pain he may endure through his life is enough to make me want him to stay in here a bit longer.  As much as I can't wait to meet him, I am also so calm and comfortable in the fact that he is truly protected 100% by me right now.  But that won't last forever.  As is the circle of life.

And in a couple of months, I will have 2 children.  Not just 1, but 2.  A daughter and a son!  It's so crazy to say that.

Can't wait to touch your sweet face, baby boy and to smell your sweet skin.  Mama's patiently awaiting your miraculous arrival.  <3

Oh and P.S., today I have officially begun my 3rd trimester going by my actual due date of 8/19.  (Honestly I think I have been in my 3rd trimester for almost 2 weeks now, but I digress).  Week 28 has officially begun!

Day 192 - 27 Weeks / Day 4

88 more days to go
per BabyBump app


Had my doc apt today and everything looks great.  They did a more in depth sono measuring the amnio fluid and placenta and everything looks perfect.  He is measuring 3 lbs and 12 days older, which would technically put me at 29 weeks / Day 2.  I got to talk in depth a little more to my doc today about questions I had and in him measuring bigger it could either mean 1 of 2 things....that I truly am further along than my anticipated calculated due date or that he's going to be a bigger baby.  I'm going with the I'm further along reasoning - just throwing it out into the universe.  Because Lord knows I don't fancy delivering a super big baby.  But either way, it's up to him when he's ready to make his appearance.  :)

I'm ordering my breast pump through insurance today and going to start checking out pediatricians.

I was surprised that I had only gained 4 lbs since my last visit.  Still overall a little too much, but hopefully I am slowing down since I obviously tended to gain most of my weight in the beginning.  Who knows though because from here on out, I know little bebe will be gaining weight quickly, so not sure how that will effect my actual weight gain.  Either way, I've come to terms with it.  Like I said before, I'll worry about getting it all off + more after he's born.  That's just one less thing I need to stress over right now.  Trying to stay calm and healthy for this little monkey is my biggest concern.

Oh, and I fell over the weekend.  :/  I tripped over a chaise lounge at my house.  Luckily, I caught myself on my knees and hands and upper arms and didn't actually impact my belly.  So thankfully nothing happened from that...I just need to be more careful with my clumsy pregnant self.  Oof.

He's positioned downwards, but hasn't yet dropped.  He does a lot of flipping around, but he's pretty much been faced downwards the entire pregnancy.

I go back in a week and a half where they will start the more in depth screenings.  Just another sono in a week and a half and the week after that, I go back for a sono and doc visit.  Then every 2 weeks after that until it goes to 1 week. :)  

Shit's about to get real, y'all!!!

Prenatal Vitamins

Almost forgot...someone asked me the other day what prenatal vitamins I am taking.

I started taking Vitamin Code's Raw One for Women a couple of years ago and have LOVED them.  I have felt good taking them religiously daily and have rarely been sick (knock on wood).

So once I found out I was pregnant, of course, I switched over to their prenatal : Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal.  The only complaint I have with them is you have to take them 3 times a day, which is a bit of a pain in the arse, but it's totally worth it to me.

I think any time you have a "raw" option of any sort of vitamin, you should go that route - in my opinion it's the best option.

So on top of those, I am also taking 1,000 mg extra of Folic Acid.

I highly recommend this brand for any vitamin type.  I love them!  I will definitely be continuing with the prenatals while I am breastfeeding and will switch back over to the Raw One for Women once I am done.